Does Ukraine have any chance of surviving the war?

One of our readers asked this question:

Does Ukraine have any chance of surviving the war, considering they have a literal comedian as their president?

Allan: (This was the original plan!)

No, Ukraine has zero chance, and here’s what’s going to happen. (Remember - you saw it here first! :-)

1. Russians will attack with several very large columns of armour down main roads, quickly taking key cities and infrastructure points
2. Russia will advance shock troops and seize airports, railroads, bridges and so forth
3. The Russian air force will suppress the Ukrainians’ ability to operate or move its own resources
4. The Russian navy will control the Black Sea, preventing the export of Ukrainian grains and materials, and starving the few Ukrainians who might resist into submission.
5. NATO, paralyzed by fear and infighting, will not react at all, or only very slowly.
6. Without critical Russian energy resources, world markets will panic, prices will skyrocket, and the few nations who might be upset by Russia’s actions will be forced to come to terms anyway
7. Millions of people living in Ukraine, but loyal to Russia will rise up and assist from the inside - helping Russians advance, providing care and cover for Russian soldiers, tossing flowers upon the triumphant liberators as they take city after city from the Nazi…er Jewish Nazi (eh…huh?) er… Ukrainian dictator despots who are not the real leaders of Ukraine anyway
8. Once victory is quickly secured, Vladimir Putin will arrive by expensive private jet. He will land in Kyiv and be greeted by throngs of loving and ebullient Ukrainians, who have eagerly longed for his arrival. More flowers and praise. Much hugging of Russians by Ukrainians, photo ops galore!
9. Putin will receive international acclaim…perhaps even the Nobel Peace Prize. He will be invited to solemnly speak at the United Nations on the importance of nation-building and will be knighted for his work to root out those Nazi-Jew (WTF?) /Ukrainian false rulers who were elected by a confused and misled Ukrainian people.
10. Grateful Europeans will get their low-cost Russian natural gas and will rejoice again. Why? because we all know Europeans are not very tough and don’t know how to suffer or sacrifice or band together to fight a common enemy, and just want to be warm. (Especially the Scotts, who are particularly weak in this area.)
11. MOST OF ALL - The United States of America will be humiliated on the world stage, as all her power and military technology will be proven to be inferior, both to the Russian will to win and unable to compete with superior Russian military strategy and technology.

That’s it. The entire plan…REVEALED. Right here!

(P.S. --- Soooo….how’s that working out for you, Mr. Putin?)

K. Lynch