Sunday Morning Funnies!

The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."

Yes, she says, "I remember it well."

OK, he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"

"Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having

sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,

"Fifty years ago, that wasn't an electric fence."

Sunday Morning Funnies!

Horses have lower divorce rates. It's because they are in a stable relationship.

My laptop caught pneumonia, apparently because I left Windows open.

I thought swimming with dolphins was expensive until I went swimming with sharks ...
It cost me an arm and a leg.

It's pretty obvious that if I run in front of a car, I will get tired, but if I run behind a car, I will get exhausted.

My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. I told "them you just wait."

90% of bald people still own a comb; they just can't part with it.

Every morning, I get hit by the same bicycle ... It's a vicious cycle.

The word incorrectly is spelt incorrectly in every dictionary.

I've been experimenting with breeding racing deer. People have accused me of just trying to make a fast buck.

What do you call a row of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare line.

Nudists are always trustworthy... they have nothing to hide.

Sunday Morning Funnies!

Over the years, I have had friends and relatives... men and women... boys and girls... put all sorts of pictures of WHAT THEY WERE EATING... on their social media pages!

So... even though this makes absolutely no sense to me... I'm not one to scoff at tradition... so here is what I HAD today!!!!

SUNDAY MORNING FUNNIES!

 

Sunday Morning Funnies!

Sunday Morning Funnies!

 

There is talk that the... "Five Eyes" (U. S. Canada, England, Australia and New Zealand) want to kick the United States out of the group... but they can't do it... because then we would be known as..."Four Eyes!" 😋

Sunday Morning Funnies!

 

Sunday Morning Funnies!

 There was a farmer, who had three daughters. He was really protective of them, and when he finds out when their bf's are coming to take them out, he looked them in their rooms and waited at the door with a shotgun.

The first boyfriend arrives, the farmer answers the door, and the man says “I'm Jo, I'm here for Flo, we're going to the show, is she ready to go?”

Seeing nothing wrong with him, he let's the first daughter go. The next boyfriend comes to pick up the second daughter. The farmer answers the door and fella says “I'm Eddie, I'm here for Betty, We are getting some spaghetti, is she ready?”

The farmer begins to lighten up, and let's his second daughter go. At this point he's confident that these men are good for his daughters. The third boyfriend arrives. The farmer answers the door, and the third boyfriend says :

“Hi, I'm Chuck.”

The farmer shot him immediately!

***

P.S. Here's an actual picture of Saturn... taken today with the James Webb Space Telescope!

Sunday Morning Funnies! Why the moon landings were real!

 

All of these are interesting... but the last one is rather suspect since the Russians claim it is a bunch of petrified "space turds" from the astronaut dog "Laika" ...when they sent it to the moon!

Sunday Morning Funnies!

Allan: 

Can you answer Alvian Eleven (alt)'s question: 

Q: "What will happen during the current retrograde of Pluto and Uranus?"

A: Absolutely nothing… you can’t have Pluto retrograded in Uranus because he’s only a fictional cartoon character!

Sunday Morning Funnies!

 

Sunday Morning Funnies!

 

Sunday Morning Funnies!

 

Sunday Morning Funnies!

I forgot to put this up last week... so I might as well do it now!!!!!

 

Sunday Morning Funnies!

Back when I was a kid everybody thought that in a thousand years, all humans would have a head that is much bigger than it is now... because of all the extra thinking we will have to do!!!!

BUT: The way things are going now... it won't be our BRAINS that are bigger!

***

Sunday Morning Funnies: Bizzaro!

 

Sunday Morning Funnies: Political Humor!

 MEANWHILE... EXACTLY FORTY (40) YEARS AGO:

Sunday Morning Funnies!

Sunday Morning Funnies!

 (Not very funny... but this is how the internet works kids!)