"On my first day as a Walmart greeter, a rude woman walked in with her two kids, yelling at them.
I just smiled and said, “Good morning, welcome to Walmart.
She snapped, “No! One’s 9 and the other’s 7. Are you blind or stupid?”
I replied, “I am not blind or stupid, just surprised someone slept with you twice.”
Later that day, my supervisor told me I might not be the best fit for the job!"
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According to the information we received here at the Perspective Research Department the oldest living person in history was a French woman called Geraldine Dubois.
She lived to the ripe old age of 122 years and 4 months!
After numerous attempts to get a more complete picture of what this woman was like..., (since she lived in the majority of both the nineteenth and twentieth centuries) we pulled a few strings to get this picture of Geraldine about an hour after she died..., and was waiting to be processed for entry to the Pearly Gates!
A MAFIA GODFATHER FINDS out that his bookkeeper has swindled him out of ten million dollars.
This bookkeeper is deaf, so the Godfather brings along his attorney, who knows sign language.
The Godfather asks the bookkeeper, "Where's the ten million you embezzled from me?"
The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the money is hidden.
The bookkeeper signs, "I don't know what you're talking about:"
The attorney tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."
At this point, the Godfather pulls out a 9mm pistol, puts it to the bookkeeper's temple, cocks it and says, "Ask him again!"
"He'll kill you if you don't talk," signs the attorney.
The bookkeeper signs back: "OK. You win! The money is buried in my cousin Enzo's backyard:"
The Godfather asks the attorney, "Well, what'd he say?"
The attorney replies, "He says you don't have the guts to do it..:"
