Saturday Morning Confusion!

 Sometimes it can be funny to randomly shout: "Hey Asshole!" in a crowd... just to see who turns around!

Saturday Morning Confusion: Drumpf!

 It's stuff like this that makes me wonder just HOW STUPID the average American can be!

Every person who worked for Donald Trump during his term as President,,, has publicly stated that this man should NEVER be allowed to hold public office again!

Never!

No Way!

And yet... about a third of Americans still think the guy is GREAT!

(Go figure!)

Saturday Morning Confusion!

Allan: 

 On my way home yesterday, I witnessed a vehicle hit a motorcycle from behind and send the driver 25 feet into the air landing him in a ditch. 

I immediately called 911, pulled over and climbed down to stay with him until they arrived. 

He wasn’t moving and I assumed the worst. 

 A medical professional happened to be driving by and pulled over to help as we waited. 

I stayed and held Joe’s hand and asked him questions to keep him awake and with us. He told me about his wife, joked about his motorcycle and asked me to take photos so he had a cool story to tell. 

 Once EMS arrived, I backed away and a woman watching said 'I’m shocked you did all that.’ 

She saw my confused face and replied 'Honey, this is the south. I’m just saying. I’m shocked you did all that for him’ and my heart sank. I was speechless. I didn’t care what he looked like. I didn’t care how long I had to sit there. I didn’t care about social distancing. He needed help. 

 We don’t have to look the same to be kind to one another. Not a single person is born hating others because of race, political views or background. 

People learn to hate. 

My favourite saying by Nelson Mandela, 'If they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love.' 

Love everyone, including yourself. Humanity is MY race and love knows no boundaries." 

Hannah Elizabeth Vieira

Saturday Morning Confusion: D.S.T.

 

Saturday Morning Confusion: My G-G-G-G-GENERATION!

Allan: 

We have this image of our grandparents or older relatives as being strict and righteous... but having lived through the dynamic eras of the 60s and 70s they often hold hidden depths of coolness beneath their more conventional facades. 

Remember: These decades witnessed the rise of countercultural movements and the free-spirited ideals of hippies, after all!

The experiences they gained during these transformative times could include adventures, rebellions, and a taste for unconventional living that they might not readily share. 

It’s a humbling reminder that we don’t necessarily know every aspect of the lives of the people around us and their complex personalities.

Saturday Morning Confusion! Queer is, as queer does!

 Back when I was a teenager in the 60's there was only 4-5% of the population that identified as queer......!

TODAY, because the "gay agenda" is not only making homosexuality acceptable... but actually PREFERABLE..., we find that about 30% of GEN Z here in 2024 identify as (at least) bi-sexual! (LGBTQRST etc.)

There's something really wrong here folks!!!!!!!!  

 Me... when I first get up in the morning!

***

Allan:

With the revelation that DNA proves humans are not related to other mammals on earth, why is the “Theory of Evolution” still presented in educational books as a plausible reality?

Christian Winter

Dear Christian: Turn off your computer... you're too fucking stupid to be on the Internet!!!!!

Saturday Morning Confusion!

 

Saturday Morning Confusion: Biden's problem!!!!!!

 

One morning a husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, his wife decided to take the boat out and go for a ride. She motored out a short distance, anchored, and began to read her book.

A short time later, along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulled up alongside the woman and said, “Good morning Ma’am. What are you doing?”

“Reading a book,” she replied, (thinking, “Isn’t that obvious?”)

“You’re in a restricted fishing area,” he informed her.

“I’m sorry officer, but I’m not fishing, I’m reading.”

“Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I’ll have to take you in and write you up.”

“If you do that, I’ll have to charge you with sexual assault,” said the woman.

“But I haven’t even touched you,” said the game warden.

“That’s true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.”

“Have a nice day ma’am,” he said and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It’s likely she can also think.

Saturday Morning Confusion! Here's Waldo!

Dear Friends: I've had a few complaints today that not only was Waldo not in that picture yesterday... but that HE DOESN'T EVEN EXIST!!!

Well... I can assure everyone that Waldo not only DOES exist... I also have proof that I've known Waldo for a long time!

Back in the 60's I spent my teen years hanging out  at Canada's "hippie haven!" (Yorkville/Toronto) I found this photograph of me and my old friend Waldo cruising "downtown" on a warm summer weekend! (That's me highlighted in the red circle... and Waldo is in the yellow circle!)

Yorkville, July 1967

Saturday Morning Confusion!

My parents came here from there!!!! They loved it here and didn't want to change a thing... just get their piece of the pie!

Saturday morning Confusion:

Saturday Morning Confusion!

 Over the past several months I have been getting multiple notices from various sites telling me that I won $1,000- for this and that... 

So I guess I had better look after cashing in that money before they change their minds... (It must now total tens of thousands of dollars!)

Will let you know how it turns out!!!!

***

Saturday Morning Confusion: Green!

Saturday Morning Confusion on Thursday Night!

 Donald by next year!

Saturday Morning Confusion!

 

Saturday Morning Confusion:

Look at how the surface wind is shaping the clouds around Mt. Fuji!

Saturday Morning Confusion: Proof That The World Is Nuts!

 Way back in 2007, I put this article on my blog, and yesterday I got a message saying that the post had been put behind a warning for readers.....

In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. (Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.)

In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman’s genitals but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.

Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers. (The sex organs of the deceased must be covered at all times.)

The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.

There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time. (Time for a career change!) Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.

In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife can legally kill her adulterous husband but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband’s illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.

Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England, but only in tropical fish stores.

In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband; the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.

In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter simultaneously.

In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines except that Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only “in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on thepremises.”

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Who volunteers for this stuff?)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)

The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. (How the hell do you get an ant drunk?)

Butterflies taste with their feet.

An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain. (Mine is bigger than my stomach.)

Starfish don’t have brains.

And, the best for last: Turtles can breathe through their butts. (And I thought I had bad breath in the morning!)

Saturday Morning Confusion!

Saturday Morning Confusion: How'd we ever get this way!

How to tell if you're having a bad day!

 

 

Saturday Morning Confusion: Calvin and Hobbes!

“Calvin? Calvin, sweetheart?”

In the darkness, Calvin heard the sound of Susie, his wife of fifty-three years. Calvin struggled to open his eyes. God, he was so tired, and it took so much strength. Slowly, light replaced the darkness, and soon vision followed. At the foot of his bed stood his wife. Calvin wet his dry lips and spoke hoarsely, “Did… did you…. find him?”

“Yes dear,” Susie said, smiling sadly, “He was in the attic. “

Susie reached into her big purse and brought a soft, old, orange tiger doll. Calvin could not help but laugh. It had been so long. Too long.

“l washed him for you,” Susie said, her voice cracking as she laid the stuffed tiger next to her husband.

“Thank you, Susie.” Calvin said. A few moments passed as Calvin lay on his hospital bed, his head turned to the side, staring at the old toy with nostalgia.

“Dear,” Calvin said finally. “Would you mind leaving me alone with Hobbes for a while? I would like to catch up with him.”

“All right,” Susie said. “I’ll get something to eat in the cafeteria. I’ll be back soon.” Susie kissed her husband on the forehead and turned to leave. With sudden but gentle strength Calvin stopped her. Lovingly he pulled his wife in and gave her a passionate kiss on the lips. “l love you,” he said.

“And I love you,” said Susie. Susie turned and left. Calvin saw tears streaming from her face as she went out the door.

Calvin then turned to face his oldest and dearest friend. “Hello Hobbes. It’s been a long time, hasn't it, old pal?”

Hobbes was no longer a stuffed doll but the big furry old tiger Calvin had always remembered. “It sure has, Calvin.” said Hobbes. “You… haven’t changed a bit.” Calvin smiled.

“You've changed a lot.” Hobbes said sadly.

Calvin laughed, “Really? I haven’t noticed at all.”

There was a long pause. The sound of a clock ticking away the seconds rang throughout the sterile hospital room.

“So… you married Susie Derkins.” Hobbes said, finally smiling. “l knew you always liked her.”

“Shut up!” Calvin said, his smile bigger than ever.

“Tell me everything I missed. I’d love to hear what you’ve been up to!” Hobbes said, excited.

And so Calvin told him everything. He told him about how he and Susie fell in love in high school and had married after graduating from college, about his three kids and four grand-kids, how he turned Spaceman Spiff into one of the most popular sci-fi novels of the decade, and so on. After he told Hobbes all this, there was another pregnant pause. “You know… I visited you in the attic a bunch of times.” Calvin said.

“l know.”

“But I couldn’t see you. All I saw was a stuffed animal.” Calvin’s voice was breaking, and regret started welling in his eyes.

“You grew up, old buddy.” said Hobbes.

“I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry I broke my promise! I promised I wouldn’t grow up and that we’d be together forever!!” Calvin broke down and sobbed, hugging his best friend.

Hobbes stroked Calvin’s hair or what little was left of it. “But you didn’t.”

“What do you mean?”

“We were always together…. In our dreams.”

“We were?”

“We were.”

“Hobbes?”

“Yeah, old buddy?”

“I’m so glad I got to see you like this… one last time…”

“Me too, Calvin. Me too.”

“Sweetheart?” Susie's voice came from outside the door.

“Yes dear?” Calvin replied.

“Can I come in?” Susie asked.

“Just a minute.” Calvin turned to face Hobbes one last time.

“Goodbye Hobbes. Thanks… for everything…”

‘No, thank you, Calvin.” Hobbes said.

Calvin turned to the door and said, “You can come in now.”

Susie said, “Look who’s come to visit you.”

Calvin’s children and grandchildren followed Susie into the room. The youngest grandchild ran past the rest of them and hugged Calvin in a hard, excited hug. “Grandpa!!” screamed the child in delight.

“Francis!” cried Calvin’s daughter, “Be gentle with your grandfather.”

Calvin’s daughter turned to her dad. “I’m sorry, Daddy. Francis never seems to behave these days. He just runs around making a mess and coming up with strange stories.”

Calvin laughed and said, “Well now! That sound just like me when I was his age.”

Calvin and his family chatted until a nurse said, “Sorry, but visiting hours are almost up.”

Calvin’s beloved family said goodbye and promised to visit tomorrow. As they turned to leave, Calvin said, “Francis. Come here for a second.”

Francis came over to his grandfather’s side, “What is it, Gramps?”

Calvin reached over to the stuffed tiger on his bedside and held him out shakily to his grandson, who looked exactly as he did so many years ago.

“This is Hobbes. He was my best friend when I was your age. I want you to have him.”

‘He’s just a stuffed tiger.” Francis said, eyebrows raised.

Calvin laughed, “Well, let me tell you a secret.”

Francis leaned closer to Calvin. Calvin whispered, “If you catch him in a tiger trap using a tuna sandwich as bait he will turn into a real tiger.”

Francis gasped in delighted awe. Calvin continued, “Not only that he will be your best friend forever.”

“Wow! Thanks grandpa!” Francis said, hugging his grandpa tightly again.

“Francis! We need to go now!” Calvin’s daughter called.

“Okay!” Francis shouted back.

“Take good care of him.” Calvin said.

“l will.” Francis said before running off after the rest of the family.

Calvin lay on his back and stared at the ceiling. The time to go was close. He could feel it in his soul. Calvin tried to remember a quote he had read in a book once - it said something about death being the next great adventure or something like that. His eyelids grew heavy, and his breathing slowed. As he went deeper into his final sleep, he heard Hobbes, as if he was right next to him at his bedside. “I’ll take care of him, Calvin…”

Calvin took his first step toward one more adventure and breathed his last with a grin on his face!