Saturday Morning Confusion: Proof That The World Is Nuts!

 Way back in 2007, I put this article on my blog, and yesterday I got a message saying that the post had been put behind a warning for readers.....

In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. (Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.)

In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman’s genitals but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.

Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers. (The sex organs of the deceased must be covered at all times.)

The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.

There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time. (Time for a career change!) Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.

In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife can legally kill her adulterous husband but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband’s illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.

Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England, but only in tropical fish stores.

In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband; the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.

In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter simultaneously.

In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines except that Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only “in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on thepremises.”

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Who volunteers for this stuff?)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)

The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. (How the hell do you get an ant drunk?)

Butterflies taste with their feet.

An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain. (Mine is bigger than my stomach.)

Starfish don’t have brains.

And, the best for last: Turtles can breathe through their butts. (And I thought I had bad breath in the morning!)