The next few weeks will be a terrible time to live in the north-east United States since God is about to unleash a plague on the Republicans for their evil ways!
For 17 years, cicadas do very little. They hang out in the ground, sucking sugar out of tree roots. Then, following this absurdly long hibernation, they emerge from the ground, sprout wings, make a ton of noise, have sex, and die within a few weeks. Their orphan progeny will then return to the ground and live the next 17 years in silence.
Over the next several weeks, billions of mid-Atlantic cicadas will hear the call of spring and emerge from their cozy bunkers. This year’s group, born in 2004, is known as Brood X. They’ll start their journey to the surface when soil temperatures reach around 64 degrees Fahrenheit.
Fortunately, as you can see from the map, there will be no cicada's in Canada as the Customs Services closed the entire border and wouldn't let them into the country!
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