Horses have lower divorce rates. It's because they are in a stable relationship.
My laptop caught pneumonia, apparently because I left Windows open.
I thought swimming with dolphins was expensive until I went swimming with sharks ...
It cost me an arm and a leg.
It's pretty obvious that if I run in front of a car, I will get tired, but if I run behind a car, I will get exhausted.
My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. I told "them you just wait."
90% of bald people still own a comb; they just can't part with it.
Every morning, I get hit by the same bicycle ... It's a vicious cycle.
The word incorrectly is spelt incorrectly in every dictionary.
I've been experimenting with breeding racing deer. People have accused me of just trying to make a fast buck.
What do you call a row of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare line.
Nudists are always trustworthy... they have nothing to hide.

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